More bugs, and a realization

More bugs, you know the drill. Nothing too exciting or interesting. A little more work on the tutorials, should be super simple, and still give the basics of what’s needed to get around in the game.

Now, I promised a realization. I sat down with the intention to create a level or two, and possibly fill in some dialogue sections between the missions. I found myself feeling a bit nervous about it, the feeling that no matter what I do with the missions it’s going to come out wrong. Technical stuff is relatively easy, no matter how bad the physics or deep a bug may lie, there is still basically a right answer. The story and mission stuff, the content, is a lot more subjective. So, as I tried to focus on making some content I felt this peculiar pressure, almost like you might feel if you were to stick your head out your car window on the freeway and try to keep your eyes wide open while facing forward. There was this overwhelming desire to look away. And then, what do you know, I’ve got some bugs to fix, some UI that needs adjusting, something else that must be done before I can work on the content.

I’ve noticed that this is a bit of a pattern with me. I’ve always been more than happy to play around with the technical aspect of whatever tools I’m using, and avoided the actual making of stuff. I always find something the tool doesn’t do or something I need to explore before I can properly create the masterwork I have in mind. Even ZZT, which was an ascii based adventure game creator thing, it was fairly powerful, and I played lots of other people’s creations, and marveled at how neat they were. But every time I started wanting to create something I found myself hung up on something that I wanted to do, but couldn’t figure out how to do it. And again my creative ambitions were held up while I messed with the technical aspect. And I was only something like 12 years old at the time.

Whew, so that’s probably more information than you ever wanted to know. The point is, I find myself wondering why the game isn’t out yet. It’s certainly been long enough. It feels like one of those dreams where you’re trying to run, but something is pulling you backwards, and you grab at the grass, or nearby trees or fences to try to pull yourself forward. I think this is it though, this is why the game isn’t out yet. I’m not entirely sure what to do, but I’m thinking I need to sit down and just make several levels and dialogues, the whole bit, and focus only on that. Perhaps I will have something interesting to show in a couple of days.